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There's Hair Down There, Original Soundtrack

by Josh Gross

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juke
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Jeremy Kowalski
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buzzgunner
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1.
Date Night 02:04
lyrics
E A E There it was, my 16th birthday, and I was feeling sad. F#m B But now it might turn out to be the best I've ever had. Why? Because... E I met a boy After school he has a car B And it's so cool C#m B Then called me up and asked me out on the town NC Well... that's not exactly how it went down. I saw this chick Down in the dumps With some serious gadunkadunk So I took advantage of that low self-esteem F#m G#m A And now my birthday has been redeemed. IV V We're going/making out before we have some birthday cake/sex He's cute she's so hot what should I wear condoms or not we'll hold hands I'll feel her up we might kiss uglies will bump We're going/making out before we have some birthday cake/sex C#m he's wonderful marvelous D#m what's under her dress E he's kind and committed F#m she's got some nice titties G#m A If it all goes well then we'll go steady B B7 The way she moves says that she's ready A B tonight is going to go great (nc) E Cause I have a date.
2.
Put Out or Get Out 01:55
lyrics
Am It's time to knock some boots Or put them on the ground It's time to sow some oats Or haul them back to town. C G we can both play dentist and I can fill your cavities F E Or you can walk home, which I hear is bad for your knees riff Just put out, or get out, (da duh duh duh da duuuuuh) Am (spoken) Put out or get out? But I hear these woods are full of dangerous animals. Werewolves they say. Here in the car there's just a baloney pony, but it ain't going to ride itself. GROSS. C G We could storm the trenches, we could dock the submarine F E Join up, in the war effort, or risk falling into a ravine (or go hike amongst the wolverines) Am It's time to hit the meat flap. Or else hit the road Jack. Tickle, my pickle, play hide the salami Or cucumber if you're a vegetarian Are you a vegetarian? No. But we won't be doing either. Then you can walk. C G Amourous Congress is in session, take the skin boat to Tuna Town F E My corn dog needs some batter dipping, or you can run fast as the Triple Crown riff Just put out or get out, bow chicka wow wow wow or walk. Dm Oh girl Am I don't want to listen to you talk Dm Oh girl Am i'd rather bring the submarine into dock Dm Now that the sun's gone down E7 You should too F7 G7 Unless you'd prefer it in your number two G#7 E7 There's all kinds of "it" to do Unless you'd prefer to walk. riff Just put out or get out, bow chicka wow wow wow or walk.
3.
Werewolves of Somewhere Oddly Specific 02:02
lyrics
Awooo, Werewolves of East End of Town, Awooo. DAISY: Uh, sorry. I haven't heard of you. KENNY: Really? We're really coming up in the werewolf scene. DAISY: I don't really hang out in that part of town. It's pretty gentrified. KENNY: Don't be such a hipster. It's still got plenty of character. DAISY: Maybe if you branched out a bit. KENNY: Look, we specialize. Okay? DAISY: I didn't mean anything by it. I'm sure you're quite feared. KENNY: We are. Our legend grows over across the tracks, where we'll eat your pets just for a snack We terrorize the eastern burbs, cause we'll ruin your lawn with our giant werewolf turds We've marked our territory for at least forty blocks, so people can smell just who we are if they go on a walk DAISY: Wow. That sounds pretty serious. KENNY: Damn right. We rule with an iron fist. Well, more of a paw really. But still. We're in charge over there. The East Side is ours. Awooo, Werewolves of East End of Town, Awooo. Awooo, Werewolves of that weird new subdivision over by the mall on the east side, Awooo. Awooo, Werewolves of the park with the twisty slide on eastern thirteenth street, awoooo. Awooo, Werewolves of the right side of the street just past the convenience store on the corner of State and Main, Awooo. Awooo, Werewolves of the stupid traffic circle that your grandpa always complains about whenever he claims it made him late for Sunday Dinner, even though everyone knows he was really watching the game, awoooo. Awooo, Werewolves of the-- DAISY: All right, all right. I get the point.
4.
There's Hair Down There 03:56
lyrics
E I see a face in the mirror, and I can barely tell its mine A Am My body has changed, and it's so strange G#m F#m, G#m, A Like my childhood has reached the finish line E What will everybody think E7 What will everybody say Am G#m When they see me looking this way Am Bm Sharpened nails, glistening fangs C#m D7 The body hair of an orangatan. E7 D7 I'll be laughed out of school within the hour Dm7 For looking like a goth kid in need of a shower Am My shame will show B7 And everyone will know... E C#m There's hair, down there F#m A erupting from my underwear E B and even more growing on my back E C#m I smell like crud F#m A and have a sudden, overwhelming thirst for blood E B E There's no telling who I might attack A Am Gym classes will beg to sprint G#m They'll point at me so the teacher gets the hint F#m A Then they'll all bolt out into the hall B7 Pitchforks and torches will be in for fall Am Bm Will they laugh, or cry in fear C#m D7 Call me Cousin It, or The Walking Beard? E7 They'll be hoots and hollers D7 Hairballs to clog the locker room showers Dm7 My prom dress will be a formal flea collar A G#m F#m I'll probably get sent to special classes like some total juvey dee... B B7 The Student Government might even appoint me Vice President Lon Cheney... F#m G#m A B There will be stares and glares and swears and prayers all because... E C#m There's hair, down there F#m A erupting from my underwear E B and even more sprouting from my knees E C#m If Tad could only see me now F#m A He'd hop the next bus out of town E B E To avoid becoming werewolf feed (spoken) Wait a second. TAD is the one that left me out there to die. He's a first-rate jerk. I shouldn't care what he thinks. I should.. I should... oh my god. There's hair down there And power beyond compare Right about now, I think I might need a snack. I may smell like crud But I have an overwhelming thirst for blood And now I know who to attack. Am I'll rip his throat out, Bm like he ripped my heart out C#m D7 That ought to make us square F#m A So TAD, you better beware.... B E Because there's hair, doooooowwwwn there.
5.
What Do You Want to Do Tonight? 01:49
lyrics
E What do you want to do tonight A E Perhaps dinner and a show? F#m Something with lots of explosions B So no one will hear me rip your neck out in the back row (hold B during talking sections, then revert to chord pattern) TAD: (spoken) what's that? DAISY: What's what? TAD: That bit about ripping my neck out? DAISY: I didn't say that. TAD: No, I'm pretty sure you said... DAISY: I said. We could neck in the back row. Neck. TAD: Well, I like the sound of that. DAISY: Phew. TAD: What's that? DAISY: NOTHING. We could try that new steakhouse I have a sudden taste for meat TAD: Now we're talking. The chef there is supposed to be fantastic He can even make your liver a treat. TAD: What's that? DAISY: NOTHING. TAD: Really? Cause, I swear I just... DAISY: No you didn't. We could break out some poker chips And you could try your luck TAD: I have an idea, how about we— We could be a teenage cliché hang out at the mall Then slice your scrotum open Make some Chinese stress balls. TAD: Okay, now I'm pretty sure you just said... DAISY: No I didn't. Eat your flesh and gnaw your bones Make lung bagpipes to play some Ramones TAD: What? Uh, I meant make out TAD: Oh, okay. Claw your skin and gouge your eyes Sever your wrists and jazzercise TAD: Wait a second... uh, I meant third base TAD: Score. Play baseball with your spleen Flick your ear until you scream TAD: Okay, now I definitely heard.... Uh, like, butt-stuff maybe? TAD: Allllll right. Then I'll make your guts into a deli plate. TAD: What's that? I'll see you at eight. For our date. Don't be late. I'm sure you'll taste great. TAD: Hmm... My suspicions are aroused. (beat, TAD looks down.) Nope that's something else.

about

The soundtrack to "There's Hair Down There," an original puppet musical by Josh Gross. Originally written and performed as part of Homegrown Theater's second annual Horrific Puppet Affair in 2013. The story follows the basic trajectory of Grease, but with the inclusion of Werewolves. Full script is included with download of the soundtrack.

Cast
Erin Archambeault as Daisy.
Veronica Van Tobel as Tad
Chad Shohet as Kenny.
Erin Chancer as Wanda and Friend #1
Jonathan Waters as Englebert and Friend #2
Josh Gross as "the band."

credits

released March 3, 2014

All songs written by Josh Gross.
All instruments played by Josh Gross.
Vocals by Josh Gross and Erin Archambeault.

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The Many Projects of Josh Gross Ashland, Oregon

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