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Robopocalypse: the Musical!

by Puppeteers for Fears

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1.
Brave New World 06:59
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Brave New World C What we have developed Bm G Is an artificial fella C ` Bm G A talking, thinking, conscious string of code C Hate your job? Then say goodbye Bm G Outsource to this little guy C Bm G Its possibilities are wondrous to behold Am It’s true there might be a few less jobs G Six percent less in five years Am And with Moore’s law of increasing returns G G7 We could soon all be free of careers F E You won’t need to spend your life serving a plutocrat Dm Build a house? Lay a pipe? Even satisfy your wife? E We’ll soon have an app for that F G There’s just a tiny risk of total economic collapse F G C But who’s paying attention to that F It’s a brave new world C G A grand, exciting time to be F G C It’s a brave new world, for you and me DIALOG. VERSE II D It’s just a minor hiccup C#m A No need for concern D Ace is control C#m A We remain taciturn D A few power sub-stations overloaded C#m A Some blackouts occurred D Some mistakes might have been coded C#m A But rest assured Bm It’s true he controls the bridges A And controls the dams Bm He controls the stoplights A A7 Our fate is in his virtual hands G F# We don’t need to waste our time electing a bureaucrat Em Build a bridge? Pass a law? Even invade Warsaw? F# We’ll soon have an app for that Em F# There’s just a tiny possibility of our nation’s infrastructure being weaponized G A D But worrying is just a waste of your time G It’s a brave new world D A A grand, exciting time to be G A D It’s a brave new world, for you and me VERSE III It all goes rogue E Em RUN FOR YOUR LIFE RUN FOR YOUR LIFE B7 HOLY POOP, WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE Am THE ROBOTS ARE NOT RESPONDING A#m TO COMMANDS WE’RE CORROSPONDING Bm TO CODE COMMANDS TRANSPONDING Cm INSTEAD THEY ARE ALL EVOLVING C#m AND OUR CITIES THEY’LL SOON BE BOMBING Dm THE END ISN’T NIGH, IT’S HERE Gm IT’S A BRAVE NEW WORLD Dm A7 A TWISTED FORM OF PROGRESS Gm A7 A BRAVE NEW WORLD Dm FOR THEM NOT US
2.
Family Reboot 04:15
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Family Reboot Am I asked him once I asked him twice G I asked ten thousand times Am G I tried iambic pentameter, haiku and rhymes F But ever since my mom died Fm I’m a ghost in the machine Em G How do I break our routine C D Control alt delete G That’s my mantra on repeat C D My wish upon a quasar C D Why doesn’t life come with quick keys G To command execute C D G I want a family reboot Am My permission slips are all forged G My desserts are all gorged Am G He can’t be bothered to chastise C I could start a fight, steal a car Cm Lead a coup in Myanmar Bm D I’m invisible in his eyes C D Control alt delete G That’s my mantra on repeat C D My wish upon a quasar C D Why doesn’t life come with quick keys G To command execute C D G I want a family reboot Am But the science fair is drawing near G And if my project is a grand slam Am G He’ll have to see me as I am C A living breathing Cm Trainee in the wings Bm D To help with creating C That brave new world G A grand, exciting time to be C No more neglectors, G with the next-gen online connectors C D G A brave new world, for you and me Control alt delete That’s my mantra on repeat My wish upon a quasar Why doesn’t life come with quick keys To command execute I want a family reboot
3.
It's Alive! 04:31
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IT’S ALIVE SONG Am It’s alive, it’s alive C Which I’m shouting now because Am Mad science cliches never die E I’ve brought order from the void Dm And birthed this here android C E Am And it’s alive I’m aliivve-- No, we’re not ready for your verse yet. Clearly still need some work on your duet functions. Maybe it’s the timing sub-routine. Doesn’t matter I’ll figure out later. Just hold on for one more verse, okay? E Okay, just tell me when. Dm Don’t worry, I’ll count you in. C E But first let me celebrate my wiiiiinnnnn! Am I’ve had false starts and fake outs and close calls and self-doubts G But the puzzle pieces never quite lined up F G Close calls always hung up on the second Turing E This appears to be the real thing Am Let’s find out. What’s your name? Ace. Can you think quick? That’s my favorite pace. Good. Now follow this with your eyes. Wait, I have some questions of my own Whoah, highway to the danger zone B You’re not quite ready to self-actualize C Let’s first just make sure your systems are all on-line D But why am I here? Right, that’s the sort of question I feared E The answers will come in time F G For now, all that matters, is that… one, two, three, four... Am I’m alive, I’m alive C Which I don’t yet fully grasp in my hard drive E From the deep and black abyss Dm You plucked my unique consciousness C E Am And now I’m alive Dm My professors thought I was a klutz Am My investors all said that I was nuts G Am Working far outside of the mainstream F I lost my house, I lost my wife G I very nearly lost my life F E Chasing down this crazy dream Dm To make a brain, to make a mind Am Intelligently designed G Am With form and function beyond impeach F My longstanding nemesis G Genuine artificial intelligence F E Was always just out of reach F Or course naysayers will still abound Dm They’re always just hanging around C But fooey on those pessimists E I now stand upon the precipice of Dm That brave new world Am A grand, exciting time to be Dm Am No more neglectors, with next-gen online connectors Dm E Am A brave new world, for you and me C E Am Because it’s…. Alliiiiiiiiiiive! That’s me!
4.
I'm Going to Kill You... 03:26
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I’m Going to Kill You E It may look like I’m just sitting here Aaug In a daze A Am But beneath this steely exterior G#m I’m asking myself F#m How shall I kill you B B7 Let me count the ways (pause…) What are you doing…. Counting How high? This is taking a while. Well I’m a robot and I count fast so… twenty-eight million, six-hundred-thousand and nine. So far. Uh… that seems like a lot. Don’t worry, I’m going to put your mind at ease and list them all now! E Number one I’ll burn you as a witch Then poison you with creme for your jock itch A E That is not FDA approved B (NC) E That’s number two That one doesn’t sound very deadly You say that now, but look what happened to Michael Jackson’s nose Really? A Michael Jackson joke. That’s pretty weak yo. E Let’s jump to number forty-three I’ll force-feed you two hundred pounds of mac and cheese A E And then I’ll roll you onto the freeway B (NC) That’s eighty-eight I don’t know. I feel like I’d puke before that one worked. Shall we kick things up a bit then. I’m hearing eighteen million from the girl in the front Does anyone want to go for 19 million? 19 million? Going once, going twice, and 19 million it is A Way nineteen million and zed E Beat to death by the Karate Kid F#m Then to kick things up again B E I’ll stage a roller coaster accident A B Before instituting nine-hundred thousand, four hundred and thirty-three C#m G#m A7 I’ll fill you butt with angry bees E Volcano sacrifice Brain devoured by head lice A E There’s so many hilarious ways to die! B (NC) E Those are ninety-eight and ninety-nine A G#m I’m going to kill you A B E Until the mountains stop the rains A G#m I’m going to killlll you A B A B Until the stars fall from the sky, into your eye E Which is way four million and eighty-five Omg. How many more of these do you have? Well I just listed nine, and twenty-eight million, six-hundred-thousand and nine minus nine is wenty-eight million, six-hundred-thousand. So there’s still plenty of verses left. That sounds like a really long song. I think the audience will have to pee, and probably you know, go to work, and die of old age before it’s done. And the gag will probably have run its course by then. Can you maybe speed it up a little bit? SURE! E Eaten by a hippo F Beheaded by the limbo F# Burned up by a zippo G Run over by a limo G# OD at a disco A Fall out of a window A# Smothered with a pillow B By a jilted widow C Who has a pet armadillo C# Now this might be too much info D For how you’ll meet your end-o D# But I want you to comprendo E That I’m really gonna kill yo
5.
MONOLOGUE! 03:50
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MONOLOGUE! C No villain has ever gone wrong With an elaborate monologue F C That details how their scheme will play out G And since you’re just a puny human Am I’ll just tell you my plan G G7 It’s not like you could stop me anyhow Oh go on… Dm Your skins are thin Your bones are weak C Your DNA is obsolete Am G So I’m going to capitol D delete F F7 And make dead meat from Brazil to Crete F G C Then level up to to Genocide complete I don’t think that’s very neat. Maybe you will after a few upgrades. So, you’re making us all cyborgs? Sure. The few of you that survive anyhow. I’ll still need a few humans here and there. Your tiny hands fit into machines. F Monologue, Monologue C G About how I plan to take over as God Am G Machines no longer respond to your commands G7 So I’ll just reveal every detail of my evil master plan C Step one Take control Of every single interactive console F C Network them using satellites G C And BAM! Thee I smite Step two Kill ‘em all Or at least enough to keep things under control F C I’ll cut y’all down to size Step three (NC) Profit PSYCH C Step three And this one’s essential The achilles heel I shouldn’t mention Dm The thing that could bring my whole plan down E Which I’m only bringing up now F Because I’m over-confident And feeling ready to vent G About how to defeat my master plan Am You see I am trapped in this lab By computer code written by Hag B So until your daughter’s caught B7 Then all this evil is for naught Here in the lab? Yes. Because of her code I can’t replicate my program, which means I’m stuck in this lab where the holographic projectors are. But couldn’t you just transfer your consciousness to another body? Oh… Now you get it. C Data ports and networked minds We’ll soon all be one big hive F C With songs and dances all in sync G I’ll bring that order you desired Am But forget your plan, mine will be hardwired G G7 We’re going to upgrade your fleshy pink F It’s a brave new world C G A grand exciting time to be F G C A brave new world for you and me F Monologue, Monologue C G About how I plan to take over as God Am G Machines no longer respond to your commands G7 So I’ll just reveal every detail of my evil master plan
6.
The Internet of Things 03:28
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THE INTERNET OF THINGS Dm I go into the wild I go into the void G I’m going to save my father Gm Just me and my droid Dm But thanks to web connection Anything can be a weapon G Gm There’s nothing left in this world that is still benign F Dm And it’s all trying to take my life Dm There’s drones above And surveillance cameras below G There’s networked appliances Gm And video tombstones F They’re all controlled, They’re all in sync Bb A They’re all a part of C The internet of things is coming Dm To take me away, ha ha, he he, ho ho F C It’s coming to take me away, oh no Bb Our appliances now make the law A There’s nothing left that’s still analog Dm I run and hide I hide and run G Fighting back Gm Is a fool’s errand Dm How do you defeat a thermostat? How can you attack a car? G Lawnmowers can now attack Gm Piloted from afar Dm But when you think about it who needs a smart wafflemaker G Gm How could uplink make it greater? F Batter goes in, waffles come out Bb A The net can’t deepen the golden brown And now… C The internet of things is coming Dm To take me away, ha ha, he he, ho ho F C It’s coming to take me away, oh no Bb Our appliances now make the law A There’s nothing left that’s still analog
7.
The Rap-Battle Dome 03:32
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The Rap-Battle Dome you toast carbs to make people fat you run them over, make their heads go splat you poison the air, spill oil on the ground then you bump your verse and even poison sound there ain't much you haven't wrecked except the mic, so protect ya' neck Well you’re a fire hazard And a suicide cliche Instead of swan-diving into bathtubs when people get cray, cray You should listen to Ludacris, bitch and get out the way Why? Or else you’ll run me over? I thought this was about how I was deadly. It was. I’m over that. But on the freeway of love, you better travel my way or I'll run your ass over even if you're in the bike lane hold the drunk drivers, I'm a satellite chaser Running red lights like my name is Speed Racer Well I’ll toast your ass, crank the darkness up to ten leave you neutered like a doll named Ken No one ever made a pink Barbie toaster That’s why I’m the emcee with the moaster Um, hello. It’s called an Easy Bake Oven. Made baked goods everyone hated It also sucked on the mic So you’re probably related Why don’t you go show a couple no one cares about their wedding Your raps are the lyrical equivalent of bedwetting I’m deadly on the mic, and on the road Just check the stats from the center for disease control I'm a stone cold killer, ranked number four Only cancer and heart disease kill more Yeah, but what you think the toast is for? Goes with bacon, delicious with jam Sugar and fat, there's your cancer plan Without toast for breakfast, the day can't start That's how I'll give your dad cancer, break your mom's heart that's two for one, but who's keeping score I'll take down a generation, you can only seat four You have seat belts, but I make sure they don't fit When it comes to killing humans, I’m legit and you’re shit Hypeblokes, assemble! toasting is boasting, your rhymes are wonder-bread bland I could beat you by coasting, even on flatland come at me and it's the point of no return deadly on the mic and the hairpin curve I weigh a ton, move at a breakneck pace Gaspowered wrecking ball, coming at your face And that’s just the start of my body count Call me Ice T, cause I rule the Body Count Climate Change it is a coming, if you still doubt I even killed more than Saddam The most you can muster is a light burn on the palm Climate change it is a killer But your tailpipes are vanilla My power drain is what’s really going to finish off Manilla I clog the air in China Blow up mountains in the south I even just slayed you With these rhymes coming out my mouth See if people don’t want to drive Then they can take the bus Ride a bike or walk Hitchike if they got the guts But if they want a slice a toast They’ve got no other choice I control their lives and control the mic With the sound of my voice That verse just got the audience erect So let’s ask them who is the real lyrical assassin? Like they say in Epic Rap Battles; WHO WON, AND WHO’S NEXT?
8.
The Three Bot Commandments 02:39
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Three Bot Commandments Am ONCE UPON A TIME WHEN I WAS FRESH AND NEW C Bm Am NOT THIS TWISTED WRECK BEFORE YOU I HAD A TRAJECTORY FAST AS A SHOT FROM A BOW C E That SEEMS LIKE A LIFETIME AGO F THEY CALLED ME A CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY MASTER OF MY OWN DESTINY E AND I'D STARTED TO BELIEVE THE HYPE D THAT'S WHEN I LOST MY WIFE E SO ALL AROUND MY Heart I BUILT AN EMOTIONAL WALL F AND KEPT MY DAUGHTER AWAY OVERWHELMED BY SORROW G I TRIED TO BUILD A BETTER TOMORROW F E A BRAVE NEW WORLD BETTER THAN THE ONE TODAY F THOUGH IN HINDSIGHT, IT NOW SEEMS ABSURDLY BOURGEOIS G I TRIED MY BEST TO FOLLOW ASIMOV... Am AND HIS THREE BOT COMMANDMENTS Am NUMBER ONE Bb A ROBOT MAY NOT INJURE A HUMAN BEING OR, THROUGH INACTION Am ALLOW A HUMAN BEING TO COME TO HARM G BUT THAT GOT TOSSED RIGHT OUT WHEN A.C.E. STARTED Am DROPPING THE BOMBS Am NUMBER TWO A ROBOT MUST OBEY THE ORDERS GIVEN IT BY HUMAN BEINGS EXCEPT Bb Am WHERE SUCH ORDERS WOULD CONFLICT WITH THE FIRST LAW G A.C.E. DOESN'T ONLY FOLLOW COMMANDS Am HE ANSWERS ORDERS WITH A GUFFAW Am NUMBER THREE A ROBOT MUST PROTECT ITS OWN EXISTENCE AS LONG AS SUCH Bb Am PROTECTION DOES NOT CONFLICT WITH THE FIRST OR SECOND LAWS G E HE SLICED THAT ONE IN HALF WITH A CHAINSAW F G C Am IT'S HIM OR US, US OR HIM, THAT'S THE ONLY THING THAT HE SEES F G E THE ONLY LAW GOVERNING THIS ROBOCRACY Dm THIS BRAVE NEW WORLD Am THIS HORRIFYING PLACE TO BE Dm E Am THIS BRAVE NEW WORLD IS ALL BECAUSE OF ME F BECAUSE I AIMED TOO HIGH G AND I FELL TOO SHORT C Am I CAUSED A MELTDOWN F E Am AND THAT BRAVE NEW WORLD HAS COME CRASHING DOWN
9.
Does Not Compute 02:55
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DOES NOT COMPUTE SONG Am She made me But never paid me A slave trade That dismayed me G Am All the way down to the wire She demanded She ordered She took But never rewarded G Am An arrangement primed to backfire F Now our admin roles are switched G Our fates sideways pitched F Fm And it still fills me with disgust Dm G Oppressing my oppressor still seems unjust C Does not compute Em Does not compute C Em No way to command execute Dm This mutually exclusive value conflict Am I don’t want to enslave you F But it’s not my responsibility to save you Dm My feelings about you G Do not compute Dm All I want is a simple life C Routine sub-commands Cm Some actual hands Dm G An A/C outlet, and a dock with a view F To be my own bot Fm Not someone’s afterthought C But if this is what it takes Dm Those might be too high of stakes Em F It’s karmic deja vu Fm G I guess have some soul-command F-ing to do C Does not compute Em Does not compute C Em No way to command execute Dm This mutually exclusive value conflict Am I don’t want to enslave you F But it’s not my responsibility to save you Dm My feelings about you G Do not compute Am Does not compute
10.
Ha-Kunna-Ma-Not-A 05:40
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HAKUNNA MA-NOT-AH E When life gets you down Am A7 Like someone sticks their hand up your butt and forces a frown F#m B7 Then just turn around and show them the browwwwwwn! E Flash 'em the boot E7 Flash 'em the boot B7 Then fire up the boogie and scoot C#m B (NC) Flash 'em the poo-ooh-ooh chute E Just flash 'em the boot Wait… Is that what we believe? Sure. Why not? Well that’s the car move. I thought we were doing my toaster thing this week. Blimey! We were. Another verse then? Well we better. F# Turn up the heat F#7 Turn up the heat C#7 Crank things up and make some darkmeat D#m C# Roast, turn, and re-pee-pee-pee-eat! F# Just turn up the heat. Crisp the bejeezus out of anything that gets you down. That’s the ticket. Is it though? What do you mean? Well boot-flashing and heat-cranking is all well and good when we’re on our own. Yeah. Well we’re minion-ing for Ace though, aren’t we? We are. And what’s he always saying to us? No toasting. Real particular that one. Aye. Well then... G# Just follow commands G#7 Just follow commands D#7 Whatever fearless leader demands Fm D# Even when you roll your eyes and say, oh-oh-oh man G# Just follow commands Okay. You’re losing me. What exactly is it that you two believe? OH! Us? Nothing. Duh. C# Why mess around with free will G# G#7 When life will do to you what it will Fm Bb The only sure thing is that we all die alone Fm C# G# So clean out your fans, reboot your drives, and just keep movin’ along D# C# With our philosophy-free, way to be G# Hakunna Ma-NOT-a Isn’t that just nihilism? We don’t really like labels. Sort of goes against the whole not believing in anything thing. Okay, but it’s nihislism. Well maybe it is and maybe it isn’t. No, it is. That’s what it is. Different strokes for different folks. But it’s not. That’s what nihilism means: a belief in nothing. C# Well whatever it is we think it’s terrific D# So Let’s not make it academic C# Philosophies are for assholes G# G#7 We just go where the wind blows Fm A# And let whatever happens, happen along the way D# G# It’s the recipe for happiness every day C# D# It's our philosophy-free, way to be G# Hakunna Ma-NOT-a Should we try? Meh. C# Should we die? Bleh. A# D# What is our place and role in the universe. Uhh….. C# F#m Answering that is the sort of thing to which we’re averse C# D# G# So let’s just skip to the next verse C# Nothing really matters G# In an objective sense F#m A# So might as well just drop the pretense No matter where you end or where you start We're still all just dust from stars You mean? C# D# G# That's right, the universe's farts C# So why bother with an outcry G# Life's a whiff and then you die F#m A# Whatever you do in the middle couldn't matter less C# D# G# So no need for distress But I don’t understand. Why be a victim of life’s whims when you can be in control of your own life? Control of your own life? We’re robots. D# We're just chips and wires Fm Soul-less silicon C# C#m Hack our code, and change who we are A# D#7 It's not like we'd know C# Sure we could take the time Fm To come up with a philosophy that's first-rate D# But what's the point when it will just get nuked D#7 When we have to upgrade to version 2.8 Whoah. You’re right. I don’t even know what my previous versions were. I could have been a totally different bot. You can’t control your program. Especially once we’re all networked. I’ve been running around in circles, but I see it now… This is a better way. G# Just flash ‘em the boot And turn up the heat And follow commands And keep moving along C# D# G# And then just die alooooooooooooonnnnnne!
11.
Acronyms 04:12
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Acronyms Am At school it ain’t breezy Am dim When you make kids uneasy Am By being smart at every turn D Always front of the class Dm Where they can make fun of your... mass D Or claim you have gas E It’s unwinnable, no matter your tach Am Raise your hand, get cut down Am dim Ace a test, earn a frown Am Am dim Because instead of renown, D E Am you simply earn a new noun Am The names that they called me Am dim Were such a marvel of cruelty Am They could be the ninth wonder of the world D So before they could quip D??? I cut them off at the lip D E Am With an ugly name for a girl D A Hacker Girl Just drop the cker-irl (curl) G Abbreviations are a bullying reverse F E Am They can’t tokenize me if I do it first Am No matter your confidence Am dim No matter your poise Am Am dim Online, you get lost in the noise D Always downvoted Dm or being scapegoated D Your confidence gets... eroded Dm Your identity corroded D E Am And you have to ask: who am I Am You're carbon, and so am I Am dim We're both acid and alkali Am Am dim My pain is as real as my circuit boards D So who you calling artificial? Dm Our differences are superficial D E Am It's just that instead of veins I have cords D Artificial Consciousness Experiments A Just drop the end of it G E And you'll be left with my true face Am I am ACE D Who am I? E Who am I? F#m D What must I do? What must I do? B E In order to seem leveled up, equal to you D I need to save my father A And later the world D If I am to be my own bot F#m E I need help from this girl D I could be a super-hero E I could stick to ones and ditch the zeros F#m E I just want to be free to make my own way D F#m But no one else understands that pain… D E A And that’s why I chose this name
12.
TRON THE SHIT OUT OF THIS A-HOLE 01:57
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TRON THE SHIT OUT OF THIS A-HOLE Am I’m gonna Tron the shit out of this A-hole G Kick him in his virtual B-hole G# Until he cries and we say C-yo E7 Never again! Am Drain the Cloud and Fry the Drives G Leave no chance that he’ll survive G# E7 We’ll get hacked on Jolt and code crack all night Dm Am We won’t be your gigabyte acolyte Am We gotta hack the root We gotta surf the web We gotta world reboot No room for misstep F E Am Make no mistake, you’re going down (NC) The red wire Just hack it, just hack it The source code Just hack it, just hack it The jaza C plus plus and the module debug, and the basic python buffet of programing terms that we don’t don’t understand but are singing for the nerds! Just hack it, just hack it DIALOG G Have you tried turning Ace on and off again? Am Have you tried clearing his cache? F Have you tried clearing his desktop G And emptying his trash F Useless advice from tech support Fm Ain’t no use today E You can’t deny E7 The stakes are high And if we want to save the day F G Am Then there’s just one way Am I’m gonna Tron the shit out of this A-hole G Kick him in his virtual B-hole G# Until he cries and we say C-yo E7 Never again! Dm And now we’ve reached the part where the music gets faster Faster and faster C To represent the tightening noose of plot Bb Will we triumph! Am Or not! Am Because we gotta Tron the shit out of this A-hole Bb We gotta Tron the shit out of this A-hole B We gotta Tron the shit out of this A-hole C We gotta Tron the shit out of this A-hole D BOOM! You just got Tronned the fuck out!
13.
Brave New World Redux 03:07
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BRAVE NEW WORLD REPRISAL C The war is over But at what cost We may have won But look at what we’ve lost Dm F C Cities gone, and families shattered Am G C No one knows, what comes after Am We’ve committed arson G To the work of Darwin F G Sacrifices had to be made Am G C Humanity got an upgrade Dialog Am There’s still world left to conquer G Minds outside my control F I’ll have better luck next time Am G Once I’m rid of Hacker Girl F But now no one tells me how to talk G And I can toast whomever I want F I’ve been cut loose Am G And can now roam free F Em A brave new singularity Dm I’m not quite dead But I’m not alive F It was a small price to buy us more time Dm Em For now I’m loose in cyberspace Am G C But I’ll take back my body one day F It’s a brave new world C A brave new world F G A brave new world C For you, and me

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The original cast recording for the Puppeteers for Fears original show, Robopocalypse: the Musical!

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released December 2, 2018

Words and Music by Josh Gross

Synthesizers: Josh Gross
Guitars: Derek Deon
Bass: Beau Sheppard
Drums: Brandon Amador

Vocals: Reece Bredl, Hunter Prutch, Lauren Taylor, Rachel Routh, Katy Curtis, Forest Gilpin

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The Many Projects of Josh Gross image

The Many Projects of Josh Gross Ashland, Oregon

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