Em B The world is full of scary things Em Am You mean like dogs that bite, or bees that sting? Em C7 Yes, those things can make you feel sad Em But let me assure you D That after review C You'll change your worldview B And see things as I do Em That Lions, tigers, bears! (NC) Oh my! Am Even giant sharks, Or a gypsy's evil eye B C7 B7 Are about as frightening as warm apple pie Em When compared to this bad guy Em He eats orphans for ouer'd'ourves D And Kittens for dessert Am I once saw him take 12 bullets C7 B7 Without getting hurt Em He's covered with spikes like a razorback D His teeth are sharp, his soul is black Am He stands nearly seventeen feet tall B With laser eyes and four-foot claws Em B7 So though you might lose at kickball and earn a dick-themed nickname C7 B7 Em D Em This is the most dangerous game Am B He's even got a Ph.d Am B in nuclear weaponry G D And spends his days building a dirty bomb C B Em That he'll use to enslave us all Em B7 So don't sweat Chinese Checkers against Skynet's mainframe C7 B7 Em Bigfoot is the most dangerous game I don't know about that. It seems a bit beyond the capabilities of a wild animal in the woods. Think so eh? That's what I just said, isn't it? Come on now. Don't you ever wonder about unsolved crimes? You think sasquatch is the guy that keyed your car? I don't think it. I know it. Ooooooh-kay. And that's just the start. Em 9/11? That was him. D He bombed Pearl harbor on a whim Am C B And then sacked Rome just for a lark Em There's no bottom to his bag of tricks! D In an evil moment, he invented fish sticks! Am His crimes are too numerous to even list them B He even cockblocked the metric system Am Who got your aunt hooked on blow? D Who cancelled your favorite TV show? C Who overcharged me for a tow! B Who gave a record deal to Counting Crows! Em D Em SASQUATCH! Em B7 You might play strip poker, near an open flame C7 B7 Em But this is The most dangerous game Am The first time I saw him C I was a boy but three feet tall G Gm And I've been on the hunt since that day Am Over hill over dale, Through snow and sleet just like the mail Bb Don't ever underestimate him Or your future will be grim B Say goodbye to your hind limb C B Your lifespan he'll trim You might go on a Japanese gameshow and earn public shame But this is The most dangerous game You might end up as a P.I. And cross the wrong dame But that pales to The most dangerous game You might go with a public defender to make your counterclaim But this is The most dangerous game You might trust someone else to renew your domain name But this is The most dangerous game C7 B7 Em This is the most dangerous game. C7 B7 Em This is the most dangerous game. C7 B7 This is the most dangerouuussss Emadd9 Game

E WHEN I WAS A LITTLE SQUATCH, MY MAMA SAID TO ME A Am E GROP YOU CAN BE ANYTHING THAT YOU WANT TO BE E A SCIENTIST, A POET, THE FIRST OF OUR KIND IN SPACE A Am B BUT THAT ALL CHANGED WHEN SHE LOOKED DOWN FROM MY FACE C#m A THE HORROR, THE HORROR, THE TERROR, THE FRIGHT E B SHE SAID SHE LOVED ME, SHE WAS BEING POLITE A Am EVEN FOR MY KIND, I'M SORT OF A FREAK C#m D7 E JUST LOOK AT THE SIZE OF MY FEET E PEOPLE RUN, PEOPLE HIDE A Am EVERY TIME I STEP OUTSIDE E BUT CAN YOU BLAME THEM? SHAME THEM? FOR NOT STAYING PUT A Am B OUT OF FEAR THAT THEY'LL END UP UNDERFOOT. C#m A IT'S BEEN JUST ME AND THE WOODS FOR SO LONG NOW E B THE OCCASIONAL RACCOON, OR PERHAPS A COW A Am I NEVER HAVE PLANS FOR THE WEEKEND C#m D7 E THESE GIANT FEET ARE MY ONLY FRIEND A Am I'M LOOOOONELY SO LOOOONLY E G#m AND I’M TIRED OF WALKING ALONE-ZIES F#m G#m A AND IT’S FILLING ME WITH SO MUCH UNEASE E DOES THIS TREE MAKE MY FEET LOOK BIG A WHAT ABOUT THIS BUSH? E HOW ABOUT THIS ROCK OVER HERE? A OR THIS RACOON'S TUSH F#m EVERY SINGLE THING I SEE C#m BY COMPARISON SEEMS SO TINY A Am B TO THE SUBS SWINGING FROM MY KNEES E A HIKING TRAIL BECOMES A COMBAT ZONE A MUD PUDDLES COME WITH A SPLASH ZONE E STEPPING ON A FOOT CAN CRUSH BONE! B E AND THAT'S WHY I WALK ALONE A Am I'M LOOOOONELY SO LOOOONLY E G#m AND I’M TIRED OF WALKING ALONE-ZIES F#m G#m A B7 AND IT’S FILLING ME WITH SO MUCH UNEASE E G#m ALL BY MYSELF, DON'T WANNA BE Bm C# F#mA C B ALL BY MYSELF E G#m ALL BY MYSELF, DON'T WANNA BE Bm C# F#mA B ALL BY MYSELF E ANYMORE E WHEN I HEAD TO MARKET MY PIGGIES AREN'T SO LITTLE A Am E LIKE HAMHOCKS WITH TEN TRIBBLES. LIKE WRECKING BALLS SWUNG AT DOMINOS E IT'S HARD TO FEEL CIVIL WHEN THE GROUND IS SO BRITTLE A Am B GODZILLA HAS GOT NOTHING ON THESE TOES E MAYBE THIS CREEPING SENSE OF DREAD IS SOMETHING THAT'S JUST IN MY HEAD F#m THAT THEY'RE NOT QUITE SO ELEPHANTINE G#m BUT I NEVER SEE FEET LIKE THESE ON THE COVER OF A MAGAZINE A YOU'D HAVE TO FILM ME IN BLURRY WIDESCREEN B7 NO WONDER PEOPLE ALWAYS TREAT ME SO MEAN E THEY CALL ME SASQUATCH, THEY CALL ME BIGFOOT A THAT'S NOT MY NAME, THAT'S NOT MY NAME E THEY CALL ME YETI, THEY CALL ME MONSTER A THAT'S NOT MY NAME, THAT'S NOT MY NAME E THEY CALL ME BEASTIE, THEY CALL ME DEMON A THAT'S NOT MY NAME, THAT'S NOT MY NAME E THEY CALL ME FURRBALL, THEY CALL ME CHEWIE A THAT'S NOT MY NAME, THAT'S NOT MY NAME B That's not my name A Am I'M LOOOOONELY SO LOOOONLY E G#m AND I’M TIRED OF WALKING ALONE-ZIES F#m G#m A B AND IT’S FILLING ME WITH SO MUCH UNEASE C#m B THERE NO WAY YOU COULD UNDERSTAND MY BLUES A Am E BECAUSE YOU'D NEVER FIT INTO MY SHOES

Am There's no time for niceties Or else we'll all end up deceased C While we sit around chatting G They're planning our next splatting F So it's time that we get cracking E And make plans for combatting F I've got black masks and duct tape We'll sneak onboard and change our fate G E7 So we can make it their curtain call NC Am And just kill them all WHOAH. We went from zero to genocide pretty quick there don't you think? No. I don't think. Yeah. That's obvious. Violence has never solved anything. Except low ratings on cable news. Well, that. And drawing attention to injustices in inner cites. Okay, that. And low employment rates in manufacturing by giving rubber stamps for spending to the defense department. E7 WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS... Am You lock us into the status quo By acting like a dildo C Violence is completely crude G Tactical verisimilitude F Instead let's make a plan and follow through E Compromise until the task is through F We can appoint a diplomat Perhaps help seed a coup d'tat G There's a gotta be a better way Than resorting to a melee E7 Nope. Am Let's just kill 'em all Dm How about a two-field solution? E How about a mass execution? F How about we craft a joint-constitution? G Let's just stage a revolution. Dm E7 Don't you think it would be better to avoid a brawl. NC Am Nope, let's kill 'em all. And then what, let God sort 'em out? To the hindus, I'm god. And I ain't sorting shit. Just avenging my fallen brothers. You were the only bull in the field. They were all ladies! Well, yeah, but you know, they were bros, still. And even before this, how many have we seen taken to the slaughterhouse? The time has come to fight back! The pasture of liberty is watered with the blood of patriots! We have nothing to lose but our bells! Milkers of the world unite! Give me liberty or give me death! “Revolutions have never lightened the burden of tyranny: they have only shifted it to another shoulder.” George Bernard Shaw. “Shut up.” Me. Look... Am Eaug I'm a mad cow, a bad cow Am (repeat) Look at me wrong and I'll put you right down Well... I'm a sad cow, a grad cow I use my smarts to avoid a showdown I'm a dad cow, iron-clad cow And I don't like when we're flipped inside-out Comrade cow, I'm a mossad cow Safety is the goal and intelligence is the how Am Eaug We need to follow protocol E7 Am Nope, let's kill 'em all. Am Eaug OMG, You're such a neanderthal E7 Am Yes, so let's kill 'em all. Dm (Walk up during dialogue) Look, I already know how to get on the ship. So do I: through the front door. I just need someone to watch my back? Why? Rambo too much of a sissy for you? Because I don't want to end up in the giant steakhouse in the sky unless I have to. Guys, I don't really think we're getting anywhere here. Isn't there some sort of middle ground? Maybe we could just take a vote on what to do? I vote you shut the hell up. Way to ruin democracy, The South. Dm NO! Our friends are getting mutilated E7 What are you worried about, you've already been castrated Am WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BRING THAT UP! I'll KILL YOU! Neville Cow-berlin Adolph Holstein Benedict Angus! Darth Vaca Longhorn Calrissian! / Lando Cow-rissian. Osama Bin Livestock!

Am From the outside it looks easy Dm A walk in the park C7 But danger lurks at every turn F Fm G7 Take it from your ol' patriarch Am Once I had to change a fuse G Another time I had to push the button with untied shoes F How harrowing that must have been E7 I better break out my violin Am What will you do if the button gets stuck? C7 What if you accidentally abduct a duck? F Fm Then you'll have to downplay G7 That you didn't pay attention on Training Day F Fm Just take a few notes C C7 Then to minimum wage you can say adios F Fm It's really all child's play E7 Am if you pay attention to Training Day Dm E7 So you'll know where to start I made you this handy flow-chart Dm Step one E7 Find some hicks Am Step two E7 Put your probe in those hicks Dm Step three E7 Mutilate some cows F7 And I just showed you how it's done G Am And how the quadrant was won I think I got it. Let me try a verse. Step one Press the button Step two Go to the airlock Step three Finish. And repeat. I don't think that you understood me Training Day is incomplete Am GODDAMN IT. What else could there be? Dm What if the U.F.O. Stalls in the driveway? Am I'll press the button. Dm What will you do if your course goes astray? Am I'll press the button. Dm What do you do if the beam craps out midway? Am I'll press the button. E7 F7 What if you switch a cow for a manta rey? B7 I'll press the button. What if you accidentally mix up your DNA? I'll press the button. What will you do if trigger doomsday? I'll press the button. How can you double up your hazard pay? I'll press the button. How do you work the coffeemaker in the cafe? I'll press the button. F Fm Just take a few notes C C7 Then to minimum wage you can say adios F Fm It's really all child's play E7 Am if you pay attention to Training Day

E Well it starts with a little bit of mood music A E Then we strap you down F#m A B7 Then power up our laser probe and point that shit downtown... You mean? That's right The probe goes... E In the butt. In the what? In the rear. Down here? That's where B E Just wanted to be sure that I heard you clear In the ass. Oh gasp! In the tail. Exhale! Roast rump B E On Earth we call it Donald Trump Oh yeah. We got him once. You did? Sure. Left the probe inside on accident. That's why he's always making that face. And why he's so scared of “illegal aliens.” That makes sense. F#m E Once upon a time my people aimed higher than your waist G#m F#m We had a little fun before your minds got erased A There was spin the pulsar bingo E And mindscan schrades F#m We'd put on fish costumes B7 and pretend to be space mermaids F#m Maybe some psychological testing E Or a crossbreeding strain or two G#m Then we'd make our favorite party dish F#m B Moon fondue A G#m Now thanks to corporations there's no time left for fun C#m F#m B They only care about that bottom line, aka, your buns A Am So without any additional ado B7 E That probe goes straight to number two Adiou! E In the tush An ambush! In the fanny Ow, my nook and cranny! In the behind F#m G#m A7 B7 Are you sure you won't change your mind E BLORK JR. Sorry. It's not up to me. RANDY JR. Wow. So you have to do all that? BLORK JR. Yeah. But honestly? I don’t even know why we do it. It all seems pretty pervy to me. Between virtual cartography, the interactive technologies created for holo-games, and replication technology, anal probing really doesn’t serve much purpose anymore. RANDY JR. What purpose did it used to serve? BLORK JR. Boner pills. RANDY JR. You got boner pills from our butts? BLORK JR. That's where the gonadium gland is. RANDY JR. I don't think that's a real thing. BLORK JR. Neither is getting a boner from rhino horn, but that hasn't stopped you assholes from using it. RANDY JR. Touche. Do the pills work at least? BLORK JR. My pod-cousin Tuzorak swears by them. RANDY JR. Gross. BLORK JR. Right? I just boot up the holo-viewer. RANDY JR. I would have thought you were doing research or something. BLORK JR. Meh. You’re not really that interesting. F#m E Our species reached the end of time, and then returned G#m F#m The universe seemed infinite with so much to learn A E But then we cut taxes, and there was an economic downturn F#m B7 And the top half of your biology was no longer of any concern F#m Took those probes and dental drills E We switched things up to make boner pills G#m Here on Earth or on beta ursae majoris F#m B Nothing sells better than a satisfied clitoris A Am So of nothing is your objection apropos B7 E The gonadium must flow And it's only found.... In the butt. In the what? In the rear. Down here? In the Derrier A B E7 Are you sure it can't go elsewhere?

E When I was his age G#m B I respected my elders E I kept my mouth shut G#m B When cleaning my shelters E G#m B Didn't do things that my parents forbid A7 except all those times I did E But his generation is spoiled Got its head up in the sky Am It's all hologames and backtalk and rock and roll posters G#m Responsibility gets the cold shoulder F#m He skipped out on Comet Days He didn't take out the gamma rays G#m He set our curtains ablaze He embodies so many teen cliches A7 He's even failing out of school B7 So he can his days polishing the family jewels E G#m B But if there's one thing my father taught me E G#m B It's that everyone respects the marquis A7 E A little razzle-dazzle can go a long way F#m A B Make filet mignon from the worst kind of shit souffle A A7 So to make sure that he understands B B7 I'll have to operate with jazz hands E And create a super-hella-mega-epic Fansta-credible-stupendous A Splendid-superb-excellent-a-riffic E B Way to engage his mind F#m A E And here it is, with no boring old bovines! A C#m My creation, my grand design A This ain't no dusty old tradition G#m F#m it's mine all mine A A7 B B7 So just wait until he gets a load of this A A9 E Cuz this oughta show that little shit C#m Once upon a time G#m We were inseparable B Like clones in a birthing chamber F#m or sedimentary layers C#m But then his voice dropped G#m His tentacles flopped B F#m He didn't have time for dear old dad A B C#m Or the good times that we had C#m But we'll fix it, we'll fix it G#m Because he'll have to admit it B F#m That this ain't your average bear A A7 B B7 Cloned from the lab over there It's my creation, my master plan It shows what he could do With any attention span So just wait until he gets a load of this Cuz this oughta show that little shit E It's super-hella-mega-epic Fansta-credible-stupendous A Splendid-superb-excellent-a-riffic E B I think it's pretty neato F#m A7 A giant shot of bliss A A9 E Yeah, this oughta show that little shit ONE MORE TIME! It's super-hella-mega-epic Fansta-credible-stupendous Splendid-superb-excellent-a-riffic I think it's pretty neato A giant shot of bliss Yeah, this oughta show that little shit CLAP SOLO It's super-hella-mega-epic Fansta-credible-stupendous Splendid-superb-excellent-a-riffic I think it's pretty neato A giant shot of bliss Yeah, this oughta show that little shit EVERYBODY! It's super-hella-mega-epic Fansta-credible-stupendous Splendid-superb-excellent-a-riffic I think it's pretty neato A giant shot of bliss Yeah, this oughta show that little shit B YEAH, Big finish now, Kick, line, and everything A A9 This oughta show that little A A9 This oughta show that little A B7 E This oughta show that little shiiiiiit!

G I wanted to find Bigfoot, to see him face-to-face Em To be a big man on the talk show circuit Am D7 To take my name back from disgrace Am C Maybe buy a cabin in the woods G And study Bigfoot, like Jane Goodall watched her apes D So I spent my life chasing the truth C G And missed out on my son's youth D Em Because I had Sasquatch on the mind C G And I can't turn back the hands of time C G Be careful what you wish for D G It might come true C In a mad scientist's laboratory G Orbiting Peru C Em You might think that you know what you want C Cm But I assure you fate, it cares not D Em The world can turn sideways in a flash Am Cm G Sometimes life gives you whiplash G I was so lonely for so long, wandering in the hills Em Hoping for even a single friend Am D7 To share life's thrills Am C Maybe go out on grub hunts G like Quixote chasing windmills D But my loneliness turned toxic C G My attitude turned caustic/It was my only conversational topic D Em And I drove everyone away C G Wishing for a way to make them stay C G Be careful what you wish for D G It might come true C In a mad scientist's laboratory G Orbiting Peru C Em You might think that you know what you want C Cm But I assure you fate, it cares not D Em The world can turn sideways in a flash Am Cm G Sometimes life gives you whiplash D Em Cm Gadd9 Nemesis, Nemeis-I, you and I D C7 Enemies united now as one Am G Will our shame ever be undone Am Em The enemy of my enemy is my friend B7 But when we were defined by our struggle Em Does joining forces mean our end? C Who are we anymore? D Who were we before? Em F I don't know, or if I ever did C G It might be time to cash it all in You mean suicide? You can't tell me you weren't thinking about it at least a little bit. Uh, no, not really. I was mostly tihinking about who would lead when we go dancing. I've always wanted to go, but never had a partner. Until now! Dancing? I mean, we don't even know if he's done with us or if we'll wake up tomorrow with a squid arm and lasers for eyes. And how are we going to dance when he replaces our legs with a unicycle. Carefully? Something will come up. Some opportunity will present itself. When it does, I think we should take it. Are you with me? Am I really that horrible? It's not you. It's me. That excuse doesn't mean much with current context. Are you with me? I think lasers for eye would be kinda cool though. I guess I'm alone there though. Alone. Again. C Em You might think that you know what you want C Cm But I assure you fate, it cares not D Em The world can turn sideways in a flash Am Cm G Sometimes life gives you whiplash D Em Cm Gadd9 Nemesis, Nemeis-I, you and I D C7 Enemies united now as one Am G Will our shame ever be undone What's the point of even singing. I'm a monster. We. We're a monster. Cm Gadd9 You and I

A If you want to be a man A7 There's some things you need to understand D Dm About who takes orders and who gives commands E7 And why the power belongs in our hands D F#m So if you say jump, and there is even a slight delay Bm E Then here's what you gotta say A I'm on the top, you're on the bottom I'm gonna smoke 'em, if you got 'em F#m E,E9,E Whatever you think you own is actually mine Bm E A So chin up, gut in, tuck your shirt, and get back in line D There's a natural order A That prevents the horror Bm E7 Of democracy D Can you imagine A F#m A ship with all captains D E A It would be a catastrophe Don't take no lip From an evolved chimp Just show 'em who's the boss With a boot or a fist And then they won't resist That's how you retire with lots F#m B D It's synnergy, synnergy, then onward to victory A E You don't a master plan F# B D Just buzzwords and vagueries, to hide deeds unsavory A E A It's the way of the company man F#m B Just know where you stand and make sure they obey D E Then you'll get to say I'm on the top, you're on the bottom I'm gonna smoke 'em, if you got 'em Whatever you think you own is actually mine So chin up, gut in, tuck your shirt, and get back in line D A The universe is big, and we're at the top E A A7 It's maintained by tech, but ordained by God D A F#m Isn't it obvious how much greater we are Well to us No, to everyone. I don't think everyone else feels that way Sure they do. Especially when we're always bossing them around and anal probing them and sewing them together and stuff. Wha? Humans love being manipulated and exploited. If they didn't, why do they keep listening to Oprah? Oprah's on the top, everyone else is on the bottom New Cars, boy does she got 'em She says what to read and they all comply She tells you her favorite things and you buy buy buy That's how we're on the top, they're on the bottom And we can probe inside their bottoms But it's funny to let them think they're actually free When in fact they belong to me You see? Not really, no. Well, you will one day.

E I understand that you're upset C#m But it's really not so bad F#m If you think about it B There's advantages to be haaaaaaaad You can.... E Bounce ideas off each other A B And you'll find you can't be beat E You can look both ways at the same time A B When you cross the street E You can talk with your mouth full A B Because you'll have another mouth C#m Bill yourselves as a ventriloquist F#m B And tour through the south A Never worry about a Halloween costume B It's right there every year A Every movie will have surround sound F#m B With twice as many ears A B E So two heads are better than one B Two heads? E Two heads. A B E Two heads are better than one. C#m B E But we also have two butts F# Say goodbye to constipation B C# A second butt is your salvation F# There's no need to squeeze it out B C# When you can take the scenic route F# Why shake one money-maker? B C# When you can shake two side-by-side? D#m You'll get park benches to yourself G#m C# When you park your double-wide B With twice the glutes to run a race C# You'll find you can't be beat B You'll never have to worry about where to sit G# C# Because you'll always have your own loveseat B C# F# So two butts are better than one C# Two heads? F# Two heads! C# Two butts? F# two butts! B C F# Two butts are better than one! D#m C# F# But we also have two necks G# You can double up on the gold chains C# D# When you roll into da' club G# And it will feel twice as good C# D# When you get a neck rub G# You can cover one with sweet tattoos C# D# and leave the other bare Fm Smoke cigars until you get throat cancer A#m D# You've still got a spare C# You can still speak clearly with a sore throat D# Surely that you can appreciate C# Two windpipes means you won't need a spotter to A#m D# auto-erotic asphyxiate C# D# G# So two necks are better than one D# Two heads? G# Two heads D# Two butts? G# Two butts D# Two necks? G# Two necks C# D# G# Two necks are better than one! Fm D# G# But we'll also have four armpits A# Shave one pair and grow the other D# F to bridge the cultural divide A# You can A/B test Old Spice and Axe D# F and see which finds a bride A# Four pits means four pecs, D# F which chicks totally dig Gm Cm F All that extra armpit hair can be made into a pubic wig Why would you need that? Because of all the chicks you're going to pull with that Axe/Old Spice one-two punch You think you're not going to catch crabs that deep in poontang? D# F A# So four pits are better than two! F Two heads? A# Two heads F Two butts? A# two butts F Two necks? A# Two necks F Four pits? A# Four pits. D# F A# Four pits are better than two! Gm F A# But we also have four feet. (Vamp on A#) I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT FEET! So two feet are better than four? Yes. No. I don't want to talk about it. NO FEET! Appendixs then? I think maybe its appendi. Yeah, you'll definitely appen-die with two of those little bastards. No appendixes are better than two! That's true! Look, I'm trying to find the bright side here, okay? Are you on acid? There isn't a bright side. But we'll also have two dicks Yeah, I'm not seeing a downside to that one. What should we call them? I vote Jeckyl and Hyde! Seconded! The motion passes. But we'll also have four balls Three balls Really? Wood-chippers. There should be a law. D# F A# Still, three balls are better than two! F Two heads? A# Two heads F Two butts? A# two butts F Two necks? A# Two necks F Four pits? A# Four pits. F Three balls? A# Three balls. D# F A# Three balls are better than two! Look, guys, you're never going to need a kidney, or someone to watch your back. You'll always have someone to talk to. Frankly, I think this is a pretty sweet deal you have going. I'm almost jealous. Want to talk to Dr. Franken-Alien? See if he'll tag you in. Well, lets not get ahead of ourselves. I'm just saying not to be too hard on yourselves is all. (NC) Too hard? I'm barely getting started. B We also have four nipples! C That's four times the water pressure when you get milked C# Two belly buttons! D Harvest the lint and knit sweaters for the homeless! D# Four nostrils! E (hold) You'll be able to blow your nose in stereo! A B E Four nostrils are better than two Two heads? Two heads Two butts? two butts Two necks? Two necks Four pits? Four pits. Three balls? Three balls. Four nipples? Four nipples? Two belly buttons? Two belly buttons? Four nostrils? Four nostrils. A B E Four nostrils are better than two! A B E And two heads are better than one!

Dm Ever since I was a tiny boy C My father said What did he say? Bb Dm That I should go outside to play Because Dm The sun was out, the grass was green The playground sharp, the bullies mean C Which is I was so much happier playing Final Fantasy Bb Dm Than he could ever see Bb Dm But here we are facing life or dearth C G I gotta land this U.F.O. back on the earth Gm Bb There's no one else to save the day A7 Dm And no extra credits to replay C So though my dad might not approve Bb The indisputable truth A A7 Everything I need to know was in Grand Theft Auto G Gm Flying a U.F.O. Bb7 A Dm is just like video games. I hope. A Bb Dm G <--Riff chords Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, BA, start A Bb Dm G It can't be that much different from Super Mario Kart A Bb Dm G Just gotta find the brakes, and figure out how to steer A Bb Dm G No pressure at all, just the passing stratosphere A Bb Dm G I don't think you know what you're talking about A Bb Dm G Shut up your mouth or I'll Mike Tyson's punch you out Dodging all these satellites, Reminds me of the fortnight I spent on Asteroids Just tilt the yar and fire the booster, Hit control alt function like the computer So much disaster to avoid Circle from down to right to dragon punch, It's also how you work the clutch Fireballs extend the landing gear Bb7 Just hurry up A7 Dm A because the ground is rushing near Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, BA, start It can't be that much different from Super Mario Kart Just gotta get a blue shell, from the question block hit the gas between the first and second lights to get off to a good start Is there a warp zone? A power-up? Bb7 Why didn't I play more retro Lunar Lander! A7 Because that game sucks! Dm The ground is hard, our bodies fragile Turns out it's not so facile F Landing this flying capsule Curse that rampaging cattle C Holy shit my nerves are frazzled My heart's has stopped, my throat is gravel Bb If I pull this off and land us near Seattle A7 Dm the earth better not be in another castle (Riff chords) Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, BA, start It can't be that much different from Super Mario Kart Just gotta nail the corners like on the rainbow road If we wanna live through this then sing the Konami Code! Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, BA, start Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, BA, start Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, BA, start Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, BA, start We're going faster than Sonic Like Tetris on Level Nine Don't want to crash like Bandicoot Or end up ghosts like Inky,Blinky, Pinky and Clyde Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, BA, start Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, BA, start Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, BA, start Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, BA, start We're plunging ever downwards Like a game of Pitfall Or like we're a barrell Thrown by Donkey Kong But if there's even any chance for us to make it through this mess Then everyone sing with us, that code for N.E.S. Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, BA, start Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, BA, start Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, BA, STOP! I'M DEAD!